Mary Mac Millan van Asperen – Atkins
2 mei 1941 – 10 februari 2022
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U bent van harte uitgenodigd op uw herinnering aan of anekdote van Mary met ons te delen:
Lieve Familie,
Wij wensen jullie heel veel sterkte met het verlies van jullie moeder, zo kort na jullie vader… Lieve Mary wij zullen je lekker soep en gezelligheid op de tennisbaan gaan missen!, wij hopen dat je nu samen met Theo jullie rust mogen vinden! Liefs!
Rust zacht tante Mary …waren altijd lekkere oliebollen en appelflappen met oud & nieuw in de stal. Voor de familie heel veel sterkte met het verlies van (nu ook) jullie moeder , love from bonnie Scotland
Beste allemaal,
Verdrietig, maar op een vreemde manier ook mooi dat jullie (schoon)ouders, opa/oma zo snel na elkaar zijn overleden.
Veel sterkte gewenst,
Gabriella, Rob, Giovanna en Gianluca
Wij wensen jullie heel veel sterkte in deze verdrietige tijd.
From the extensive travels of Mary: Yellowstone National Park. The snow-covered slopes are marred by bare, naked tree trunks. The Beetle Kill has struck here too . The beetle eats the bark. 10 metres high fir trees with white trunks . Sad . Mountain slopes only covered with dead trees. Disastrous. Six Bighorn sheep trotted calmly on the road , crossed the road and some jumped over the crash barrier. We passed them at a yard’s distance. They just glanced backward and that was it. I usually scribble notes or write the travel report while we are on the go. Now I hardly have time to write…. So much is to be seen and photographed . Another Sylvain Lake. The third one ! I believe, he was a conservationist. Two bisons in the wood. We arrived at the Fishing Bridge RV Park , the reserved camp site. The site was soaken wet ! It had snowed this morning. Pot-holes in the road and mud. The next day , Friday ,May 29…… a radiant sun. We left early for the Old Faithful . We photographed hundreds of bisons and a Moose family. Suddenly a traffic jam on the left side of the road , slow traffic. Because on our side, a bison mother and her calf stood stock still on the road. She was nursing her calf and she just stayed right in front of our RV. We had front seats. Anyhow, we just stood there. Behind us a line was formed and the left side already had a line. All at once some idiot left the left line, passed some cars to get as close to the bisons as possible . Iam sorry to say that he drove a Cruise America RV . Of course the bisons went away. But if the mother or the calf had been frightened, things could just as easily have turned out bad. Only for a picture…. How stupid can you be ! It was a herd of bison cows and calves with some young bulls. The adult bulls live solitary , only to join the cows in the autumn. The world is full of crazy people , isn’t it ? Like at the restaurant, just a fast food joint . A bus load of Japs. (not my cup of tea,anyway). Rude people….. They jumped the queue, pushed you aside, knocked you down, took all the seats. The limit was : People bringing their own noodle soup, demanding hot water , grabbing a fork and eating for free . Then leaving all the mess on the table . Whereas you had to throw it in containers, like at MacDonald’s. An old man,who worked there ,told me that they often react furiously,while insisting on Japanese, Thai and Chinese food being served. They’re in the USA, for god sake ! It really beats everything ! The Mid Geyser Basin has a boardwalk over the area, it is narrow and only 2 persons can pass each other from opposite sides. We did the rounds and on our way back….. Who approached us ? The Japs ! Walking side by side, refusing to step aside when an oncoming person appeared . I was so mad! I had more steam coming out of my ears than the hot pots produced. Anyway, at a bend a Japanese smart ass tried to cut short. But there was Theo. The man really assumed that Theo would step aside….. There he made a big mistake. Theo didn’t budge an inch and won. I saw it from a distance and yelled: Good for you Theo , don’t let them walk all over you. I would have loved to yell ‘KIRE’ , which means ‘BOW’, as they used to scream to us. But I was too far away. Anyhow,the Jap must have felt it to be a serious insult as losing face is the gravest offence. Revenge at last ! We arrived at the Old Fathful. Hundreds of people stood there, cameras ready. They had been waiting for some time already. The Van Asperens arrived , found a place in front, only waited 5 minutes…. And the show began. Luck is with the dumb ,isn’t it ? The Old Faithful is a geyser. She is called The Old Faithful , because she spouts up steam and piping hot water every 49 minutes. We also saw it in Iceland. But here the spectacle lasted 10 minutes . SPLENDID! Two-thirds of the world’s geysers are in the Yellowstone area. The earth is hot there. But still you saw Bison shit everywhere. Strange that those heavy animals walk on the hot soil without the ground giving way. We have to stay on the boardwalk because of the danger that the ground might give way. Perhaps it is just a concoction to keep people from roaming the area . It is a well-known fact though, that during the cold winter months bisons and elk move to these places. Here they still can find grass and water and of course, it is warmer. Well, it is not a concoction . Today ,in the museum I read that the ground is also piping hot and instable (sort of a quick sand) and that yearly people get burned or even die when they end up in it. The cause of this thermal activity…… 640,000 years ago due to an enormous explosion of gasses , a tremendous big vulcano came into being . Yellowstone is actually a huge vulcano. In due time, scientists expect a similar explosion as the one of 640,000 years ago. The magma is very close to the surface, 3 to 7 miles, water seeps in the ground, the pressure builds up….and then the discharge. Scalding hot water spouts in the air or scalding hot mud (melted rock ) bubbles up from the ground. Waterfalls of boiling water. Miraculous ! Often it stinks of sulphur. Although it didn’t bother me much. All around the land ,valleys, meadows, in the woods, steam clouds drift upwards. There are various hydrothermal activities : Geysers spout steam and scalding hot water every now and then. Hot springs. Here boiling water bubbles up from deep in the bowels of the earth. Often multicoloured by minerals and bacteria. Mud pots. The hot water from the depth passes layers of stone and dissolves the stone into mud. This bubbles upwards . In summer it is thick mud, in winter and spring thinner as then it contains melting water . Steam coming up from the ground. The soil is so porous that the steam just escapes. On the way we stopped at the sites,without the masses of people. Hot springs with hot water bubbling from a hole in the ground. Beautiful sediments of minerals,but mainly bacteria. They form the colours : turquoise ,yellow, orange, white and the water bubbles and seeps through it. Splendid weather , we’re wearing t-shirts ! I spotted a grizzly bear in Hayden Valley , a habitat known by bear spotters. I thought it was a black bear. But the ranger,standing next to me with binoculars , said that it was a grizzly bear. Their colour varies from light brown , dark brown , grey to black. Theo had just gone to the RV to fetch his binoculars. Pity ! Oh well, you can’t win them all ! According to the ranger, the best time to spot bears is early in the morning from 5- 7 and in the evening from 17.00 until it gets dark. We suspected that already as the deer appear at the same time in our neighbourhood. It is half past 4 now. Theo is bound to be a hero somewhere in China. The prototype of a middle-aged,white man. A touring car was parked next to our RV. It was covered with the Stars and Stripes and the words…America-Asia. Theo went to the RV, saw a lot of activity near the RV. Asian ladies posing in front of the RV, pictures taken. They posed as if the RV was theirs. They acted rather nervously. First they looked if the coast was clear , a photograph was quickly taken and then the next person went and acted in the same way. For some time Theo watched it from a distance then he walked to the camper. The posing lady fled. Theo opened the camper and made an inviting gesture. After some hesitation, the lady returned,figured out that Theo didn’t bite and picked up all her courage. The picture was taken, another woman dared take the risk ,giggling. The last picture…. Theo had to pose between two middle-aged Asian ladies for the picture. Laughing and giggling and relieved that he was not mad. And proud that he was willing to pose. Then they ran to the touring car. I asked where they came from. No answer. So I yelled : Nippon, Korea, China.? Ah China ! The stories they’ll be able to tell in the coach and at home ! Theo was a giant compared to those small women. Strange that they are so afraid to be caught having their picture taken in front of somebody’s RV. Dictatorship ? When we arrived at the campsite , we were worn out. On the way from 9.30 up to 18.30 . Actually,I think the thin air finished the Oldies. Theo had walked to the top of the waterfall. It wasn’t that far. But at the end of the day. He was exhausted ! Each day that I wander through Yellowstone Park ,I wear my Yellowstone hoodie. Many stealthy looks like…. Where did she buy that? They are in the giftshops….. 32 dollars and in a sugary pink colour . Mine cost only 14 dollars at the KOA-campsite in Cody and the colour is nicer. We drove at an altitude of 2,700 metres. Still a lot of snow in the woods. What a view ! Unfortunately the beetle has struck here too.Although there is a lot of new afforestation. Trees which already are some 2/3 metres high. Young forests with in them the spooky stakes of dead trees. However ,it looks promising . One also sees many burnt -down woods. This is done by the rangers on purpose. Some spruce trees have cones which have a glue that can only be destroyed by fire. By setting fire to the spruces, the cones open and hundreds of seeds appear. And so the forest is renewed. Mount Washburn altitude 3,000 metres . Just along the way two frolicing yellow-bellied marmots. These are smaller than the ones at Crazy Horse. Perhaps little ones. We thought we saw bears. Black spots in the distance. Theo stopped the camper, got out with his binoculars. The spots were bisons. But also lots of deer in the valley. We were standing on the top of a mountain. Suddenly a car stopped on the road, a brisk woman got out of the car , ran to the information board, passed Theo on the way , asked: Are there bears ? Theo: No, bisons. The woman: Thank you. Got in the car…… gone. We do experience strange encounters. At the limestone Canyon, through which the Yellowstone River streams, a gentleman stood beside me with binoculars. He pointed out 2 Big Horn sheep at the bottom of the chasm. Both with a lamb. They come here, at the end of their pregnancy, descend along a steep mountain wall into the chasm to lamb here. A barren place. Why ? Because there are no predators here. Only the mountain lion can come here too. These were the first lambs . A third ewe was still expecting. I could see her pacing up and down. When the lambs are 5 days old, they climb all the way up, as there is more food up there. How did the gentleman know all this ? He comes here every day. He also knew how old the lambs were, 4 days old. Bisons could be seen in numerous numbers. The Tower Falls,we got out of the RV. A 150 meter walk. Puffing and blowing and gasping for air. But I made it ! Those valleys, so grand and beautiful ! We turned back at Pebble Creek. It’s a creek with small and large pebbles. White water. Children were fishing there. Flowering gentians. They also grew near the hot springs. Everywhere people along the road,searching the land for bears. No bear to be seen. If cars are parked somewhere and people stand there with binoculars and cameras on tripods…… in no time, cars stop to ask what is to be seen. A real bear- lunacy ! It is hilarious ! Some people had parked a truck, put chairs outside and all of them, some five people, with binoculars and cameras with telephoto lenses sat and waited and gazed in the distance . The bears must be doubled over by laughter . This morning , at half past 10 we left for the Lamar Valley. That’s the place to be for bear-spotting. The Lamar Valley , habitat of bisons,pronghorns,elk,wolves and bears. We arrived there at 12.30 and drove around for 2 hours. Nothing, nada! What to do ? Today is Saturday and we really notice that it is busier. Mountain slopes with white flowers and forget-me –nots. Cute ! Mammoth Hot Springs Terraces. Thermal hot water springs. Hot water comes from the depth of the earth, passes limestone layers and is forced upwards. White limestone and orange (iron) sediment form layers . They are the terraces. Moreover,water bubbles and steam escapes everywhere. Different and beautiful ! Theo went there and took pictures . After 3 stairs I had had it . So I walked the wheelchair board until the stairs started again. Downwards and then I sat on a bench and waited until Theo returned. I’ll see the pictures. Besides, I have already seen this and that on the way. Mary is wise. Right in the middle of Mammoth Hot Springs a dozen Wapitis lay on the grass. Now they are gentle. But in the mating season , the bulls go after everything…. even people. So we saw on tv. Bear –spotting, the van Asperen way. Yes, we have also been infected by the bear-spotting virus. Yesterday,in Hayden Valley I saw a grizzly. That is an area known for its bears. Our strategy: We would be there around 5 in the afternoon, good timing , and would not go to the campsite. Instead ,we would park the RV in the same place as yesterday , eat in the camper and spot in the meantime. Our dinner consisted of Biscuits, coleslaw and cheese. I did not dare cook because the fumes might attract the bears. Stupid of course, as that is the purpose of spotting. And I wish I had done it. Alas, Yogi the Bear didn’t show up. We split our sides laughing,though…..Just imagine two senior citizens, sitting in an RV for hours, very comfortably,spotting bears, which did not come…. For hours as the spotting time only ends at 9 o’c lock when it is too dark. We didn’t go that far, we left at 7. We are not the only lunatics. Behind us a car stopped,to spot also. The couple had seen 12 bears and a pack of wolves in the Lamar Valley. They are here now .Maybe they attract bears , who knows ? After 15 minutes they packed it in. However, we did see 2 white pelicans in the Yellowstone River. I thought they were swans , so no pictures as I was too late. Anyway, it softened the blow. Bisons love to cause traffic jams just by crossing the road. Last night at exactly the same place. Now the herd crosses the road again to return to the place that they came from yesterday. Taking their time , standing still, extensively posing for the cameras. One car pushed on. But the bison just trod on in front of him, while staying in the middle of the road . The idiot in the car managed to split up the herd. But the animals didn’t blink an eye. The next one crossed the road. SUPER!! Let the people wait ! A herd of 85 bisons. I counted them. I had all the time in the world. A ranger kept an eye on things. The same one of the grizzly. Hayden Valley is his territory. Sunday, May 23. Norris Geyser Basin. The colors: yellow,dark brown,rusty,red, turquoise,dark green and milkblue. A vast area with all forms of hydra-thermal activities. When you arrive…. You have a view from above over this area. All the colours , water spouting,bubbling and steaming. Unimaginably beautiful ! Via a boardwalk you can walk along everywhere and walk over everything. We went to the Steamboat Geyser. The highest spouting and most active geyser in the world. September last year, the record was 92 metres . And this geyser works continously. Not every 49 minutes like The Old Faithful. This geyser spouts water or erupts steam every minute. Why is it called the Steamboat Geyser ? On the side is a hole from which water escapes. And this makes a choo-choo sound. Hence the name. Theo stayed there for a long time , waiting and hoping to see a new record. 93 metres ? Like with the bears….. in vain . 5/7 metres was the highest. The distance we had to walk 800 metres . To and fro. I was exhausted and panting ! Due to the pills against high blood pressure. I realy felt like an old woman. Which I am of course ! Back to the RV. Lunch and catching my breath. Because I was determined to see the Porcelain Springs. Well, that was well worth the shortness of breath. Magnificent ! They are hot water springs. Here the water is green and it contains a mineral that forms a transparent white layer. This lies on the green. It really resembles porcelain. The distance was one mile to and fro. But now I had water with me and the sun was not so fierce. And fortunately there were lots of benches. I made it! Theo is already somewhat used to it. A squirrel followed us along the path. The same red brown fur and the same small size as our squirrels. Usually you see the big,grey squirrels. Onwards to Canyon Village. In the Visitor Center we saw a film about Yellowstone Park. Nice, because we had been everywhere and now somebody told about it. This is the first time that we watch videos and films. And it suits us. We get information in a clear way but we also see how things come into being and are made. On our way back through the Hayden Valley, we kept looking for bears again. Nothing, nada! The RV Park is called the Fishing Bridge RV Park. There ’s a bridge over the Yellowstone River, which has a lot of fish. In springtime the Cut Throat trouts come here to spawn. Then the place is swarming with bears, ospreys. The water is very clear and you can see whoppers of fish swimming . Unfortunately , a fierce wind is blowing now and you cannot see a thing. In earlier days people stood shoulder to shoulder on the bridge ,fishing . We saw a picture on an information sign. Nowadays it is not allowed . Again it was a lovely, sunny day. This evening no rain. We stayed outside and had drinks. Mount Mary lies in Yellowstone Park. Ever since the first day I wanted to take a picture of this mountain. Ten times we drove past it. Even set out to photograph it and still we forgot. Monday, June 1. To the Grand Teton National Forest via West Thumb. Yes, we still have to visit the last places of interest . Along the immense Yellowstone Lake and green, healthy forests. A beautiful trip. The weekend is over ,so …. not much traffic on the road. Suddenly, dead trees,which had been set afire. These are the Longpole spruces , of which the cones only set free their seeds when set afire. And you can see it by all the young trees that had come up. The Indians used the trunks for poles to put up the wigwams. Hence the name Longpole spruce. West Thumb Geyser Basin is a volcano within the big Yellowstone volcano. It lies on the Yellowstone Lake . No spouting geysers but bubbling hot water springs. They were also in the lake. Under water a round hole, from which water bubbles up. From the bottom a tube is formed of calcium sediment. This comes above the water like an ’ ísland’ and that is called a thumb. Through this thumb boiling hot water bubbles up. In winter time they donot freeze over and the otters catch fish there. Warning signs for elk. We see traces of hoofprints in the soil ,just like the bison shit at the Old Faithful. Near a pool, which had stopped bubbling, were numerous prints. The watering place. Well , that water didn’t look too fresh. We were sitting on a bench , catching our breath. When suddenly out of the blue, two elk jumped on the thermal area. One jumped straight across the field, over hot springs, over the boardwalk where people were walking and went to the shrubs near the beach. The other stayed near the entrance, on the grass and quickly went back to the trees. We never saw a bear.. but this really made good the disappointment. This was something so unique! And an example of how they do it. Now I know that there are places where the soil is not so soft and that it even can hold a bison. When we left, the bus loads of Asians arrived. Good timing !
Frequently, we saw Asian women walking with mouth caps. Against air pollution. Well, if you are walking in Bejing or Tokyo…. But in these surroundings….. how pure can air be? On the other hand, I saw an Asian man with a baby in a carrier bag , her head forward so that she could see everything. Nice, except that he was hanging over a mud pot. The warning signs warn against the sulphur and poisonous gasses that escape from mud pots. Difficult if you do not know the language ! Conclusion about Yellowstone Park: It is a huge calender . One can only shoot calender pictures. So magnificently beautiful !!! Everything was steered in the right direction . Which, of course, is as it should be, as the park attracts millions of people. Especially, during the summer. The places of interest well layed out and well organized. As the route through the Park. However,the RV park tarnishes the reputation of the National Park system. Unfortunately, they have leased it to a commercial business. It is the only campground with electricity. We were parked in rows next to each other, without any space to sit outside. But the condition of the road was the worst. Holes, potholes,mud. While walking to the restrooms you were soiled by passing vehicles. They couldn’t help it as mud spattered around when they drove through potholes. You had to walk for half an hour through this mess to get to the showers . When I entered the showers, a young woman was drying herself outside the shower in the public area. I panicked by the idea that the showers would be just as narrow as the toilets. That was not the case. It was worse.They were filthy dirty ! In the first cabin the floor was covered with thick layers of mud. On first sight the second one was okay. So I took a shower. While drying myself, I saw the long black hairs on the bench where I had put my towel and clothes. Disgusting !!! The toilets are so narrow that you have to be a contortonist to get out. 6 toilets in a space meant for 4. The doors open inwards. So you have to go all the way back and then twist around the toilet to get out. Fat people donot fit in the toilets. Theo calculated that they earn between the 20/30 thousand dollars per day. The other campgrounds, run by The National Park, are simple but clean. Roomy sites and in the middle of nature.
Heel veel sterkte toegewenst om dit verlies een plekje te kunnen geven.
Lieve groet, Roelie vd Veen Buurtzorg
Mary en Theo bekende van de kaartclub, wij hebben veel plezier altijd met jullie beleefd. Jammer voor de familie, zo snel achter elkaar te verliezen….maar voor hun het beste. Veel sterkte aan de familie. zij zullen niet vergeten zijn.
En nu Mary…….ik sluit aan bij de herinnering die ik aan Theo heb en die ik de familie heb laten weten op Theo’s condoleanceregister.
Gecondoleerd voor de kinderen en kleinkinderen. En natuurlijk ook voor Theo’s zus Els op Texel.
Beide uitvaarten vond ik warm en waardevol. Sterkte met dit dubbele verlies.
Bob has so many great memories of Mary and Theo and he loved hearing Mary talk about the family. We always had such a good time with them. We will miss her very much. They created a beautiful family.
Lieve Familie,
Heel veel sterkte met het verlies van jullie moeder en oma. Wat hebben jullie haar mooi herdacht in woorden en beelden tijdens de uitvaartdienst! Ruud en ik waren er echt van onder de indruk. Bij ons kwamen ook warme herinneringen boven.
Ik leerde Mary kennen tijdens de eerste cursus schilderen die ik in Moordrecht gaf. Na de tweede cursus besloot ik te stoppen, het was te druk naast mijn gezin en mijn baan. Bovendien vond ik het fijner om zelf te schilderen in plaats van er les in te geven. Zelf had ik al een aantal jaren les op de Werkschuit in Gouda. Mary is toen met mij meegegaan. We schilderden twee avonden per week. Een combinatie van gezelligheid, lachen, serieus werken en …. er af en toe ook even niet bij horen. Mary kon dan wel heel gezellig en vriendelijk zijn, maar ook ineens iemand haar ongezouten mening geven als diegene haar niet aanstond. Ik kon er wel stilletjes om lachen, want je wist wel direct wie je voor je had.
Mary wilde toch ook nog iets doen in Moordrecht. Zo regelde ze samen met Theo een ruimte in de Zuidplas. De cursisten die ooit bij mij begonnen waren, werden op de hoogte gebracht en zo kwam het dat we elke donderdagochtend met elkaar lekker creatief aan het werk gingen.
In 1999 stopte ik met de Werkschuit en ging naar de Kunstacademie in Den Haag. Mary en ik hielden bijna dagelijks contact en bleven zo op hoogte van elkaars ontwikkelingen.
Waar het op de Werkschuit vooral om techniek te doen is, gaat het op de Academie om verbeeldingskracht en originalteit. En dat had Mary! Ik heb haar toen aangemoedigd om toelating te doen. ‘Ja, maar ik kan niet goed tekenen’, zei ze dan. Onzin natuurlijk, dat kon ze wel. Bovendien is techniek bij te brengen, verbeeldingskracht is een talent. En dat is wat ze zoeken op de Kunstacademie. Ze heeft toelating gedaan en werd aangenomen. Dat werd een feestje. Het zou weer als vanouds worden, net als de tijd dat we samen op de Werkschuit zaten. Maar het liep anders, Theo en Mary verhuisden naar Friesland. Ze deed toelating op de Minerva en was daar natuurlijk ook van harte welkom. Vanaf dat moment verliep het contact voornamelijk telefonisch.
We zijn een aantal keren in Friesland geweest. Dat was nog voor haar en mijn afstuderen. Ik was erg onder de indruk van het werk waarin ze haar kampverleden heeft verbeeld. De pijn, het trauma was herkenbaar en voelbaar. Mary en mijn vader hadden namelijk een en ander gemeen. Geboren in Nederlands Indië, daar vaak verhuisd, op elf-jarige leeftijd zijn moeder verloren en vlak daarna terecht gekomen in een Jappenkamp. Tijdens de verjaardagen bij ons thuis spreken ze met elkaar over dat verleden. Zo hoorden wij een aantal belevenissen van mijn vader voor het eerst. Hij is eind 2013 overleden. Jullie ouders hebben toen een kaart gestuurd met mooie herinneringen. Dat deed ons goed.
Het is jammer dat we door tijd en afstand het contact hebben verloren. Toch denken we regelmatig aan jullie ouders. Al is het alleen al op de momenten dat we uit het keukeraam kijken en het huis en de tuin zien waar jullie in Moordecht woonden. En dat zullen we blijven doen!
Liefs en sterkte
Ruud en Marjolein Maitimu
I always thought that we would see Mary and Theo again, either in the Us or The Netherlands. The few times we were able to be with them were so memorable. I remember excellent cooking (a family affair with happiness), a lovely family full of joy and love and a feeling of togetherness as if we had never been so far apart for so long. Theo’s music around the fire and Mary’s stories of her beautiful family will always be remembered. Even though we were so far apart and didn’t see each other often, Mary and Theo were and will still be in our thoughts. vanAsperens, please know that our thoughts are with all of you at this time. Much love, Charlie and Jean Severson
I’d only heard about Theo and Mary today, so I apologize for the late condolences.
Mary was very sweet in helping with my Nederlands. She was one of few people who could articulate the crazy rules in a way I could understand. And all the patience in the world, of course.
She will be missed.
Sending the family my condolences.
Lieve Mary, ik las onlangs online in een streekkrant toevallig jouw interview. Hedenochtend nam ik de trein naar Buitenpost, kocht zachtroze tulpen in de winkelstraat en fietste met mijn vouwfiets richting Haersmahiem. Bij binnenkomst werd mij aan de balie verteld dat jij bent heengegaan. En Theo ook. Mary & Theo. Twee-eenheid. Eén.
Ik besloot naar Dokkum te fietsen, kocht aldaar wederom zachtroze tulpen en legde ze met betraande ogen op het graf van Marieke, een geliefde waarover ik hier niet verder schrijven zal. Zwijgen kent Schoonheid. Onuitsprekelijk.
Maar Mary, wat vind ik het verdrietig dat jij en Theo nu zijn overleden. Qua behaalde leeftijden voel ik vrede, maar het raakt me evenwel. Vanavond heb ik jullie afscheidsdiensten alsnog bijgewoond. Ik heb gehuild. Waarom?
Omdat jullie familiair lief waren. Zonder veroordeling. Gastvrij en verbindend.
Theo leerde ik aanvankelijk vooral op algemeen omgangsniveau kennen via de tennisclub in Buitenpost, maar Mary, met jou was het contact veelal op een dieper level. Wij deelden ons ervaringsbewustzijn van traumata uit de kindertijd én wij hadden beiden in ons leven ooit een diepgaand spirituele beleving doorgemaakt. Hoewel jouw bijna-dood-ervaring niet exact hetzelfde was en is als mijn verlichtend mystieke ervaring wisten wij elkaar op dit vlak prima te verstaan, daar beide ervaringen in zeer grote mate contamineren, overlap vertonen. Wij wisten en weten van verzwaring en verlichting…
Middels het voorzichtig aanbrengen van kleurloos medium langs afgeplakte lijnen vulden zich de minidalletjes van het linnen, waarbij na het verwijderen van alsnog beschilderde tape kaarsrechte lijnen op het doek achterbleven. Met plezier heb ik Mary dat geleerd. Keiharde dualiteit. Harde lijnen. Harnas.
Maar het ging en gaat in feite om het tegendeel, het non-duale, de eenheid. Het harnas afleggen. De ware werkelijkheid áchter de door domme mensen verzonnen stupide denkstructuren. Het ging en gaat Mary om de ziel. Het kind. Het onbeschadigde kind. De onbeschadigde natuur.
En zo hoorde ik haar ook altijd vol enthousiasme onophoudelijk praten over haar kinderen en kleinkinderen. Tijdens onze gezamenlijke treinreizen naar colleges en praktijk op kunstacademie Minerva Groningen.
Mary en ik deelden de ervaring van beschadiging én heling, van kindpijn én zielsgeluk. Beide in de diepte onuitsprekelijk.
Maar voelbaar. Tijdelijk en eeuwig.
In vrede.
Lieve familie Van Asperen – Atkins, ontvang mijn Goede groet!
In mystiek geluk, Gustaaf Rutgers